that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
