i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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