Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
