You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize