I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
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there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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