I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
