ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
