whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
