I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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