dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
