How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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