is your mom at the bar?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
