apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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