come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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