i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
