Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
