I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
