: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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