I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
