fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
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thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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