i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
