I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
