Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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