If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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