hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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