I wish I only lived at night.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
