Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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