now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
