Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I didn't notice because vodka
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
