i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
