so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
