that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize