That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
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i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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