Iβm once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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