He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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