i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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