just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
