CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
