So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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