Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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