I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
