Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
