My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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