i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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