so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
