Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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