he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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