p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
