guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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