guys are not supposed to queef...right?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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