32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
