the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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